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Lost In Wonderland
Without The Rabbit
Some old poetry...not all....just some...more to come later when i find my old books 
30th-May-2011 12:37 am
jere is a few, a couple more to come in next post

The Bipolar Mind

Wake up, Need to wake up.

Waking up, shit, I need another hour.

Can I just be left alone for a bit…

Can I just enjoy this diversion for today…

My imagination suits me better, reality sucks ass.

I look and look for redemption from the pain, but its nowhere to be found. Is 20 years too late for I’m Sorry? My heart hopes not.

My life sucks, stuck in this place, this ghetto mind set. Living this disappointing life for decades now. Nothing new, nothing to be proud of beyond creating life which any sow can do.

I could have been so much more, could have been anything.

I became nothing, nothing at all.

I became a lesser version of the real me, the colourful me.

Frightened of the world and what it might think of me, or might do to me.

I try to move past a label, try to get back to me.

Will I succeed this time? or shall I fail yet again?

Will my friends like the real me? not the wisper of me that I have been?

Can this cloud of doubt be lifted? I hate this state of mind.

I know this thought process makes no sense, but its my clouded mind.

Paranoia, judgement, anger and disappointment fill my life and mind, my world of self doubt.

I blame others for my own failures because its an easier pill to swallow.

Flushed from the rush.

Flushed and Failed.

Tired, so tired, I need a break…

Sleep, I need to sleep.

Time for bed.


The Parachute

Jump, Leap, the parachute is fine

what a rush it will be.

I’m not asking for you to fall

I’m just asking for you to leap, to jump, for a chance at the possibilities.

I’m not asking for forever, just asking for something more.

I’m not asking for everything, just asking for you.

I’m not asking for your world, just asking for you.

I’m not asking for something your not ready for

I’m just asking for something beyond nothing, beyond the unknown space.

Leap, Jump, The Parachute is fine.
Ready or Not

I don’t mean to impose

but i’ve been here before

i know how the story goes

i want a new story

can you be one for me?

Are you ready for the time of your life?

Are you ready for me?

Am I ready for you……?
Where do I stand? (I'm not)

I’m not a rag doll

I’m not a toy

If I’m not yours then let me go.

I’m not words on a screen

nor a face on a book

I’m not a time filler

I’m not a waste-less void

there is no such thing as hollow words

I’m not a rag doll

I’m not a toy

Don’t treat me as such.

Wisper my name

tell me all your secrets, they’re safe here with me

tell me all your dreams, i’m here for you.

Wisper my name

I’m right here waiting for you

waiting for you to call my name

I’ve never been closer

why do you stand so far?

I’ve never been closer, to being yours.

Wisper my name

I stand here frozen in time

waiting on your decision

is my name on your lips?

are the words too bitter?

the wisp of empty air flows on and on

waiting for sound to break the silence.

Wisper my name

my heart beats faster, my feet grow numb

with each step I crawl towards you

hoping you’ll see me here

I struggle to wisper your name

I chance everything for a sign.

I close my eyes, and take a leap

I close my eyes and wisper your name

reaching out in the darkness

searching for you

grasping nothing but air

are you here?

Do you hear me wispering your name?

Wisper my name

let me know you want me

want me here, here near to you

does your heart quicken?

do you feel a thing?

Can you feel me here in the dark?

I’m reaching for you.

I can’t stand here for long

I can’t stand here unknowing

if I’m not your tomorrow, then i’m not your today.
Baby, I'm tired

Baby I’m oh so tired

from roaming this earth alone

I could sleep forever

curled up in this comfortable dark hole.

With you here at my side

I can walk miles

The earth doesn’t look so bleak

There’s something there for me, waiting, for me tomorrow

Your light strengthens me, it warms my nothingness.

Walking this path alone

is not what I envisioned it to be

This is not my destiny,

it’s not what my second chance was for

I’m meant to walk with pride

meant to walk with a smile on my face

with greatness at my side

With a light so bright, the light I see in you.

Can you see this too?

Can you see the light, the light in me?

or is all just a farse, a farse to fill your time?

is there a tomorrow or just a today….

Baby, I’m oh so tired

don’t let me stand here too long

the darkness is calling, and I can’t let it wait

gimme something to look to,

can we bask in the light?

To a man who did it all with a smile...

Little girl on daddy's knee
playing horsie with a smile so bright
hugs and kisses before she says goodnight
"goodnight baby, you sleep well."

Little girl not so little anymore
not quite a woman but not still a girl
"don't worry daddy i'll be just fine,
dont look at him that way daddy, it's not that bad".

little girl is all grown up, she's a mommy herself
little boy sitting on grandpa's knee
little boy with smile so bright
"more papa, i like horsie!".

old man laying down still
out of breathe and tired as can be
old man bones and old man aches
"it's okay daddy have a rest, its okay daddy we'll talk again in a few days".

old man becomes young again
his old bones and old man aches are gone
he's happy and smiling again
Rockin' to Jimi Hendrix again.

shed no tear that's not what he wants
be not sad that's not how he rolled
have a beer, have a toke, have a smile, stay awhile
celebrate and have memory, cause that's just how it has to be.

Grown woman walks up to her dad,
hugs and kisses before bed,
"Goodnight daddy, I hope you sleep well. Good night daddy, Rest in Peace."
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